Some Pics

So here is me with my lovely eye patch...I think I would make a lovely pirate. Right after this was taken I went to the hospital and someone backed into my car! Luckily there was no damage.
My beautiful and tall sister with her friend Patricia. She was going to Tolo.

Yes, I love her. Yes, she is crazy. We have a very tumultuous relationship. We either love or hate each other...I think it is because she is fifteen. But I take her to school every morning and pick her up from drama practice every day so she is required to love me.

I dyed my hair black! What do you think?? My whole family hates it but I kinda like it. :)

Hello!!

Hey everyone! Now five months later I am finally writing again...haha. Wow. I really need to work on this but I don't have any pictures of cute kids to put up and I feel like my life is pretty boring!

I am now working for ACS. I answer phones for Verizon, "Thank you for calling Verizon Wireless, my name is Heather, may I have your name please?" Yep, say that almost one hundred times a day. :) But I have a job so I am very grateful for that. My mom is still looking for a job, however my brother got hired at ACS and is going to school full-time and is working there full-time with me.

My sister is doing great. She will be in Grease in May! She tried out for the musical and over 60 girls were cut...but not my Marissa! I am so proud of her. I am so excited to go to Timerline and see her and I hope a lot of people come to see her.

I was pretty sick the last couple of weeks. My eye hurt really bad and I went to the doctor and they said that I scratched my cornea and I had to wear an eye patch...yeah, great I know. But the next day it was much worse and my whole face was swollen and I wanted to cry every time I opened my eye because it was excrutiating pain. I went back to the doctor and they were all very worried and sent me to the hospital. I found out I had a corneal ulcer...a hole on the iris of my eye!! Ahhh. It was caused by an infection...so I was very, very sick and I still have two different antibiotics, two different painkillers, etc. But then I started getting really nauseated and my medicines were conflicting with one another so then I had to get two new medicines. So my stomach was in a lot of pain...but I am feeling great now and I should actually get to wear contacts some time this week! Yay.

I AM Alive! :)

Yes, I have not written in two months. Why? I felt like I had nothing to talk about. When I got home from school, I went through many tests and I was diagnosed with depression. I was scared to talk about it for awhile. I couldn't get out of bed, I felt completely worthless, I thought the world would be better off without me, I was scared to go outside, and I just didn't feel like me anymore. It was the most frustrating thing I have ever gone through. I got so bad that my mom had to carry me to the car to get me to go to the doctor. I have now been on anti-depressants for two months and I have been going to counseling and I am glad to say that I am doing GREAT. I am back to being Heather again. I was dancing in the kitchen the other day and my sister just giggled and said, "You're back." I have had so much support from my family and friends during this time and I am so blessed.

My mom has also had some health scares during this time. They thought she had breast cancer and cervical cancer. But we found out she has Stage 0 breast cancer, which means cancer could develop so we just have to watch her and they removed a cancerous part from her cervix so she is fine! It was very stressful for awhile but now she is healthy.

We are still looking for jobs...both me and my mom. It is horrible. There are NO jobs in Olympia...if you want to know. Especially with the hiring freeze on all state jobs, which is the majority of full-time jobs that are here! But we are still working on it and we are still staying positive.

I have never been so close to my mom and sister as I have become during these last few months. We have learned that we have each other and that is what is most important. We have learned to trust and have faith that everything will work out. Yes, I sometimes still get lonely because I miss having friends around, but overall...I can say that I am happy and incredibly blessed and I am so lucky for all that I have.

Why I Moved Home

So...here is my story. Since February when I learned that I had full scholarships to grad school I have been uneasy. It was my dream handed to me on a silver platter, yet I was never 100 percent excited, which always bothered me. But I knew I would regret not going and it was the best option. So I decided to go.

However, this summer I kept getting sick. I would get migraines and I just haven't felt like myself. I haven't been happy-go-lucky Heather. I just haven't felt like myself and I knew I wasn't in the best condition to go to school, but I still went.

After 4 days there, I was having panic attacks and I was throwing up a lot. I just knew I had to go home. It takes me months and months to make a decision. But one night I was staring at my computer and I thought, "What is most important to you RIGHT now?" It was easy: My mom and my sister. I just needed to be with them. I was exhausted...I did 4 years of college in 3 years, I have always had a job, I was overloading myself. I was mentally and physically run down and I knew that I needed to refresh. I didn't want grad school right now, it wasn't the right time. So I made my decision to defer for a year, so I have the possibility of starting grad school next September.

Once I made my decision, I was at such peace. I knew it was right. I knew I was doing what I needed to do. I drove 4 twelve-hour days and I finally arrived home. As I had my blinker on to turn into my mom and sister's apartment, my phone rang. It was my mom. She lost her job about 15 minutes before I arrived in Lacey. Yes...what a blow.

I have cried and cried and cried. I have thought over and over about how I wish things were easier. I have worried about how I will be able to handle this when I am already sick and overwhelmed. But I know I can. I am going to the doctor next week and hopefully that will help. Every single day I get so dizzy and nauseated I have to sit down or I almost pass out. Maybe it is just stress. I just need to de-stress. But I also need a job. My mom and I have to come up with money for rent and food because we had no savings left. So pray that I find a job.

I am so glad I am home. If I hadn't graduated in three years, if I hadn't come home, I wouldn't have been able to help my mom and sister. I really am so blessed and I know it. So everything will be ok...I just have to make it through this little rough patch.

On My Way . . . to Washington

I am leaving this afternoon to drive back to Washington. It is a long story. If you want to know it, you can call me. I won't arrive in Lacey until Monday night. Pray that I have a safe trip.

I am in New Jersey!

I made it here. But the first thing I noticed about New Jersey: THE ROADS SUCK. They are not clearly marked, roads have 4 different names, the roads change their name randomly, and the main streets are through residential neighborhoods. It is so confusing. My mom and I both cried one day because we couldn't find our way back to my apartment.

So it is muggy and hot here and my hair will not go straight and it is driving me absolutely crazy. But my school is nice. Here is the sign when you drive in on Normal Avenue. Isn't that funny that I live on Normal Avenue?

Here is where I live...right across the street is the train station that takes me right into Manhattan. So that is really nice. I have met two of my roommates...I have three. We are all grad students. One, named Katy, is from New Jersey and did her undergrad at Rutgers. The other, Singi, is originally from Zimbabwe and did her undergrad in South Carolina. So we are a diverse group! But I feel comfortable here, so that is good. The funny thing is that there are SO MANY groundhogs. They pop out everywhere and run. I think they are chasing me. I screamed so loud the first time I saw one...they are HUGE.

The coolest thing...this is the view of NYC from campus...what do you think???

So now I am alone in New Jersey. My mom left yesterday. I cried so hard. But I made it home from the Newark Airport and I didn't get lost. But that is only because I have a GPS system that tells me when to turn right and left. :) But I feel so alone. I miss my mom and my sister so badly. I love them so much and it will be so long before I see them and it breaks my heart. So right now I just keep crying but I also keep praying. I hope I will be ok. I know this will be worth it. I just wish my family and all the friends that I love were here with me to make me laugh. So I start school tomorrow...now I am an East Coast girl.

Minnesota, Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, and Pennsylvania

Then we drove through Minnesota...where we got caught in an extremely HUGE rainstorm. It was hilarious. When I put gas in my car, I got soaking wet and the wind slammed my car door on my mom's hair and she was stuck. Haha. Then we drove to Durand and Mondovi, Wisconsin. My grandma grew up in Durand and my grandpa grew up in Mondovi. I was so excited to see where they lived!

This is the Holy Rosary Church where my grandparents got married on August 20, 1946. It still looks exactly the same. Nothing has changed. I recognized the doors from my grandparents' wedding pictures. It was neat to be there. I also went to the cemetery and saw where my great-grandparents and great-great grandparents were buried.
I had to take a picture with corn...it is all there was in Minnesota, Wisconsin, Illinois, and Indiana. Haha. This corn, however, is on my great-aunt's farm in Wisconsin.

Then we went to Chicago. It was really cool. This is the Sears Tower. We went on a river architecture tour. We went on the Chicago River and saw all of Chicago and went under all of the 23 bridges throughout the city. It is a really unique city.

Here is one of the bridges...it was cool. My mom and I had a fight in Chicago, however. It was because I got us lost in the south side of Chicago. Not a good idea. I am glad that we didn't die!

Indiana was pretty boring. But once I got to Ohio, I was so happy. That's because I got to go to Cedar Point. It is an amusement park that is on Lake Erie. It was so pretty going on rollercoasters with water surrounding you. But, I was so happy because I went on the tallest and fastest rollercoaster in the world. Yes, in 3 seconds you get to 120 mph, then you go straight up 420 feet and straight down 420 feet. It was the most amazing feeling. Doesn't that look like a crazy rollercoaster???